The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
