Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize