Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize