Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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