the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
