she looked like the before picture.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Pooping to opera.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
