if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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