so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I love having hate sex.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
