i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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