the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
