hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize