Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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