Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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