It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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