your parents love me but you hate me
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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