Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
