yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
