I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize