woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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