Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
