The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
