why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
