finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
