I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
