did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
