So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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