How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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