dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
