Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Sex in the backyard? Check.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
