is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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