I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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