seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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