i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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