it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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