If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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