insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
