Don't you send me to vm
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
