thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
