Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
