walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
