kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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