You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
