So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Farmville is her only friend.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
