Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
