and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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