Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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