he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
