We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
