I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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