If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
