do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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