Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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