Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
