FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
